LOPEYLAND – His Exigency Lopey addressed the upcoming elections with a prepared statement:
“Yep. Glad we don’t have that mess.”
For more information, please contact the Lopeyland Ministry of Obviousness
A breakaway region of Canadia. The ruler of Lopeyland is Lopey. The President of Lopeyland is Lopey. The only citizen of Lopeyland is Lopey.
LOPEYLAND – Jun 24 (LP) – Lopey praised the recent selection of soccerball players to the Lopeyland World Cup Roster. “Soccerball is an important performance art involving drama, bravado, and lots of bad overacting,” said Lopey, Chief Imperatus. “I am pleased to have selected the best soccerball players in Lopeyland to take part in the World Cup, even after the qualifying games have been played.”
It is expected that citizenship will be given to the players once they have been contacted.
The team roster includes:
Kip’s Big Boy
A John Deere Combine Harvester
The Lucky Charms Leprechaun
e. e. cummings
For interviews, please contact the Lopeyland Sports Ministry’s Bureau of Nonsensical Requests.
BTGOG His Excellency Lopey has decided to formally recognize the following countries:
Shakee’s Pizza Joint
Various parts of Murica:
All other countries are not yet recognized, but that’s mostly because His Highness isn’t great at putting names with faces.
IT IS SO ORDERED.
TO BE EMBARGOED until 3 minutes before your deadline.
LOPEYLAND — In an unexpected move, President Lopey today woke up and exercised. The specific exercises performed are classified as state secrets. Freedom of Information requests can be addressed to the Lopeyland Press Liaison, who is on vacation until further notice.
WHEN in the yadda yadda and so forth it becomes necessary to eat food, we turn to our abundancies with little or no regard for the verisimilitude of the harvest. THESE ACTIONS by our oppressive (yet kind) neighbors, who speak with funny accents at the strangest times, have led us no choice but to declare ourselves independent from Upper Canadia, Lower Canadia, Middle- and Under Canadia, as well as Albuquerque. We do not declare war on anything except haute couture and duck lips. We strive for the right to be content with our inner selves and discontent with everything else. And by We I mean Me. Because I am We and One and One and One is kind of a lame lyric when you think about it.
IT THIS THEREFORE NOTED that should anyone care, Lopey will be meeting the public for His Majesty’s usual twelve minutes of consorting with the subjects at some point near either a Tim Horton’s or Starbucks soon.
AND LOPEY SAID, IT IS.