LOPEYLAND – His Exigency Lopey addressed the upcoming elections with a prepared statement:
“Yep. Glad we don’t have that mess.”
For more information, please contact the Lopeyland Ministry of Obviousness
A breakaway region of Canadia. The ruler of Lopeyland is Lopey. The President of Lopeyland is Lopey. The only citizen of Lopeyland is Lopey.
LOPEYLAND – Jun 24 (LP) – Lopey praised the recent selection of soccerball players to the Lopeyland World Cup Roster. “Soccerball is an important performance art involving drama, bravado, and lots of bad overacting,” said Lopey, Chief Imperatus. “I am pleased to have selected the best soccerball players in Lopeyland to take part in the World Cup, even after the qualifying games have been played.”
It is expected that citizenship will be given to the players once they have been contacted.
The team roster includes:
Kip’s Big Boy
A John Deere Combine Harvester
The Lucky Charms Leprechaun
e. e. cummings
For interviews, please contact the Lopeyland Sports Ministry’s Bureau of Nonsensical Requests.
TO BE EMBARGOED until 3 minutes before your deadline.
LOPEYLAND — In an unexpected move, President Lopey today woke up and exercised. The specific exercises performed are classified as state secrets. Freedom of Information requests can be addressed to the Lopeyland Press Liaison, who is on vacation until further notice.