{"id":102,"date":"2004-04-05T13:28:41","date_gmt":"2004-04-05T17:28:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lopeyland.com\/?p=102"},"modified":"2006-06-27T23:38:09","modified_gmt":"2006-06-28T03:38:09","slug":"vagus-vacation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lopeyland.com\/?p=102","title":{"rendered":"Vagus Vacation"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Vagus Vacation<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I want to talk about my brother a bit. Jim is a pretty good guy. He follows <a href=\"http:\/\/www.homestarrunner.com\">Homestar Runner<\/a>; he teaches school; he works at a movie theater. He has a wife and a dog. He also has an interesting reaction to some things he finds really, really funny: he passes out. The first time it happened to him, I was telling him a joke&#8230;oh, okay, here&#8217;s the joke I told:<\/p>\n<p>A man walks by a natatorium and sees a banner stating &#8220;Paraolympic Swim Meet&#8221;. He goes in, intrigued, just in time to catch the 50 meter freestyle. The first contestant appears, and it&#8217;s a person with no arms. The second contestant appears, and it&#8217;s a person with no legs. The third contestant appears, and it&#8217;s just a head without a body. They hop up to the starting platforms, the gun fires, and they dive into the water.<\/p>\n<p>Immediately, the head sinks to the bottom of the pool. The other two contestants manage with some degree of difficulty to traverse the pool and return. After the race, an official notices that the head at the bottom of the pool is still showing signs of life, so the official dives in to get him. The head comes back up to the surface, finally exhales, and says, &#8220;You practice wiggling your ears for FIFTEEN YEARS, and one minute before the race someone puts a swim cap on you&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Jim laughed at this joke and then went completely still. He then keeled over. Of course, we thought this was just a joke, part of his act. As it turns out, he passed out from laughing. Somehow, an electron fired causing a reaction in his vagus nerve, and that caused him to pass out. He&#8217;s had it happen before, and every time, it&#8217;s somewhat scary to watch. Laughing, silence, clunk.<\/p>\n<p>He was at my parents&#8217; house last night after a &#8220;grandma&#8217;s shower&#8221; for my mom put on by some of her school friends. We were there as well, and immediately after dinner, Jim wants to show me a trick. He puts a dime in the middle of his forehead, puts a shot glass in front of him on the table, and starts banging his chin into the table, presumably in an effort to dislodge the dime from his forehead. For some reason, this just seemed really, really funny to me&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>The next thing I know, I&#8217;m getting up off of the floor.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m OK now, except for a slight headache.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Vagus Vacation I want to talk about my brother a bit. Jim is a pretty good guy. He follows Homestar Runner; he teaches school; he works at a movie theater. He has a wife and a dog. He also has an interesting reaction to some things he finds really, really funny: he passes out. The &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/lopeyland.com\/?p=102\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Vagus Vacation&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-102","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health","category-humor","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lopeyland.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lopeyland.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lopeyland.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lopeyland.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lopeyland.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=102"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lopeyland.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/102\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lopeyland.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=102"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lopeyland.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=102"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lopeyland.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=102"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}