We get Time Magazine at home, and this particular week featured a short blurb on proposed Reality shows that are or are being considered for production.
Proud admission of something many people would consider beneath themselves: I like reality shows–some of them.
Basically, let’s run down the reality shows that have happened. I may forget a few, but that’s because there have been some dreadful ones that absolutely refused to make impact on my synapses.
Survivor (I,II,III,IV,V)
Big Brother (I,II,III,IV)
Boot Camp (both regular and celebrity)
The Amazing Race (I, II, and coming soon: III)
Eco-Quest (numerous–only been televised for the past 4 years or so).
The Mole (I, II, and celebrity)
I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!
GAAACKKKK…. a.k.a. The Anna Nicole Smith Show
American Idol (I, II)
Who wants to marry a multimillionaire?
The Bachelor (I, II)
The Bachelorette
Joe Millionaire
Married by America
American Girl
Of this list, the ones I have watched (and will again) are Survivor, The Amazing Race, Eco-Quest, and The Mole.
There is a common theme among these four shows (plus Boot Camp normal people) in that they use ordinary, not perfect, fat, old, slow, short, whatever people and use them as the basis for their contestants.
The Bachelor(ette) shows don’t qualify in my opinion, simply because these people are way too camera-ready. The suitors are already pre-screened to weed out normal human beings. Joe Millionaire also falls into this category.
American Girl puts women into pointless competition against each other. It’s much like Bravo TV’s The IT factor, except again, a premium is being put on those who aren’t ordinary looking.
Other shows that attempt to use celebrities in contrived situations also miss the point, in my opinion. These people have already had a measure of success (regardless of how long ago it happened), and so once again, they’re just not ordinary.
Big Brother reminds me a lot like the MTV reality series Road Rules and Real World. Of course, these two shows have spawned off so many extra Challenge shows that they plus the Osbornes constitute approximately 95% of MTV’s programming. The flaw with these is that while the people are somewhat ordinary, they’re also so freakin’ narcissistic it’s painful to watch.
I like watching real people be put into situations of stress arising from circumstances. I also like the race type feel of TAR, simply because there’s a purpose for what they’re doing.
There are some upcoming shows. Let’s evaluate them:
Jason Mewes: HBO is producing a series on how Jason (otherwise know as Jay from “Jay and Silent Bob” in the Kevin Smith film series) kicks his heroin habit. Fortunately, it’s on HBO, so we’ll actually get to hear the dialogue instead of 90% of it being bleeped out. I don’t have HBO, so that makes not watching this one a default choice.
Jessica Simpson and her singer husband are planning a show on how they are working through the issues of marriage as newlyweds. Celebrities, beautiful, rich. Survey says….BZZZZT.
Stan Lee, creator of many beloved Marvel comic book superheroes, is part of a planned series where people pitch their superhero idea to him by wearing a homemade costume and going through an audition. While this might be entertaining, it’d only be so in the way that train wrecks or listening to Anna Nicole display her eighth grade education are entertaining.
Donald Trump: start with 20 people in a business, and fire one of them a week. First of all, does this man really need any more press? Trump Airlines, Trump Casino, Trump Tower, Trump Reality Show… I’m also really offended by the entire concept of firing people from a job they might need just for the entertainment of others. We’ve become the Roman Senate.
Liza Minelli and David Gest: they pitched an idea to VH1 to have dinner parties with interesting people. The show will never get produced, simply because the couple and the channel are suing and countersuing each other. Again, it’s a celebrity show, although what David Gest has done to make him a celebrity is completely beyond me. He just seems like Webster’s definition of “pompous ass”.
The one thing to remember is that no matter what happens, these shows only exemplify the fact that fame doesn’t run on a 15-minute clock. It’s more like 15 seconds. Anybody wonder what big gay Richard from Survivor I is doing these days?
Staring at the electric cesspool,
Kevin