Welcome to another day in the continuing struggle of my wife. Believe it or not, Laureen teaches in a place that holds an eighth grade prom. I kinda wondered about that, but I realized that sadly, for some of these kids, that’s as far as they’re going to go, whether it be by choice or by default.Anyway, the prom is coming up, plus many other social events (trip to six flags, movie days, etc.), and so the kids are really wanting to go. However, there’s a slight catch: you have to be a good student (where good = studious, hardworking, no trips to the office, no infractions of any kind, etc.). One of the girls (I’ll call her S) has already purchased her prom dress at a cost of approximately $125. It also costs $30 for a ticket to the prom. Of course, S is a discipline case. She obeys only the rules she feels like obeying. So after school yesterday, S comes to Laureen’s classroom and asks if Laureen would put in a good word for her with the pod leader, Mama G. Background info: Laureen’s school is divided into “pods” with each holding approximately 130 students. Mama G is a resilient teacher who has been through the wars, both here and other places, and she’s tough as nails when it comes to dealing with students.
Now, S has been to pod court before. She’s failed at least one class. She’s been to the office on quite a few occasions. You get the picture. So when she asked Laureen if Laureen would put in a good word, Laureen’s words were “I’ll tell Mama G. what I’ll tell your parents when I call them.” (Insert ominous music here.)
S gets the idea that Laureen isn’t going to say a good word. S then asks Laureen if she could ask another teacher to put in a good word, even though S doesn’t want to ask that other teacher herself. Laureen says she will, knowing full well what that other teacher thinks of S.
So Laureen goes to Mama G. Mama G. expresses what would be called a certain amount of frustration and notes that she’s had 25 messages from parents about why their kids can’t go to event X or event Y. “We send home three failure notices, and they don’t call. We call them and leave a message, and they don’t call. We tell them their kid is in Pod Court for a hearing with all of her teachers and it would be great if at least one of them could be there, and they don’t call or show up. But when their kid doesn’t get to go to a special activity…then, they call.”
Sigh.
It is sad to see where priorities lie with parents. As a parent, I have to say middle school is a difficult stage in kids. I’ll take high school over middle school anytime. It just seemed like they were mean! (Especially girls) On the positive note…many students will get their priorities straight and do great. I don’t recall my parents being active in my "school life" at all. Now, it seems necessary for me to have a continuous relationship with all the teachers and it’s worse with my youngest child. The behavior expectations have been VERY high with his 3rd grade teacher. Every negative behavior is reported. "Oh my gosh! He didn’t write his name on a paper!" (I’m not kidding) Knock off 5 points and move on. And the ironic thing is that they didn’t tell us when he went to peer mediation for a dispute with a boy in gym. I feel I have spent a lot of time meeting the teacher’s needs and she hasn’t spent much time meeting his.
It is sad when the activities become more important than academic performance and behavior. But now you know where the kids learn their priorities. 🙂
The one pitfall that can happen in some cases is that parents have the luxury of dealing with "only 1" child, whereas the teacher may or may not have time. Laureen teaches approximately 130 students in a day, and she averages 25 kids for a 45 minute session. She spends over 50% of her time on discipline issues, leaving less than 1 minute per kid of teaching time. Any extra individual work with kids comes during lunch or after school.
Of course, almost every priority these days comes not from a love of learning, but a state mandate that’s usually test-driven.
I can relate to the classroom disciplne stuff. In college I worked as an aide in a behavioral disorders class. Our entire day was spent teaching these boys how to act appropriately. We didn’t get much teaching done and it was a shame because most of them were very bright.
Unfortunately, unless the kids learn at home that education is important it’s not likely it will ever be important. I’m glad that my kids are in the school district that they are. Discipline is not a big problem. The problems tend to be isolated.
For the most part, I have LOVED my children’s teachers. I think the one that irritates me is just tired and burned out…..always seems to tell me how tired she is. The high school teachers I’ve dealt with at Berkner have been the most incredibly devoted professionals I’ve had the pleasure to deal with. There is a math teacher there that should be put up for sainthood. He takes such a personal interest. Melissa has had him for 2 years now and is going for 3. With all the obstacles she’s dealt with, he just keeps encouraging her. I’m sure it helps that she wants his help and wants his encouragement.
Now that the wonderful TAKS testing is over, my kids are doing very little in school . Pressure’s off.
This testing is so stupid. 8 and 9 year olds are losing sleep, getting sick and stressing out over a stupid test. The first year that they are exposed to a standardized test they are told that if they don’t pass it, they don’t go on to 4th grade. No pressure there. I looked at the practice tests and they were like little SAT questions. Kids were breaking down and crying during the test. Then, Mikey comes home after taking the reading test and said it was so much easier than any of the practice tests. The school did great, but was it worth it?
Melissa had this science teacher in junior high, Mr. Kratz. Whenever Melissa would forget homework more than once, he would call me at work (with Melissa standing there) and tell me. I asked him about it and he told me that parents HATE being called at work for problems and so they tend to deal with it. The kids hated it even more. 🙂
I’m still frustrated with Mikey’s teacher. I think if a math teacher with ~130 students can attempt to meet my daughter’s needs, then a 3rd grade teacher with 21 students can try, too. Finally, at this last parent teacher conference, she was able to say something positive about him. Anyway, it’s almost over and he has learned a lot.(So I need to give her credit there—-his writing abilities have greatly improved).