I just looked at our bank account and have tried to make payments…. Sadly, we’re sliding even further into debt now. I personally feel responsible, since I’m the one who wanted to get everything going on the budget, and then I stopped doing it. And I stopped worrying about it.
We’re approaching $30K in credit card debt. And I can’t tell you what the heck we bought with all of that.
Health: It looks like I’ll be starting a health/wellness/exercise program this next week that puts some accountability into things. I’m overweight. I eat when I get stressed, since I sit at a desk all day.
Kids: I love them, but they drive me crazy sometimes. My threshold for irrational behavior is too low, I think.
Wife: I love her, but she drives me crazy sometimes. We have a current big issue that we’re trying to work on: is “me” time selfish? It comes up over and over again: Laureen does a lot of sacrificing of free time to taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, doing laundry, etc. and doesn’t have much patience for me if I make a choice to watch TV instead of do things that arguably need doing.
I’ve got to go put my credit card into the freezer now and re-read the good sense workshop books.
Is money a tool? Or does it use you?
Money: I’m about to get out of debt, but then something comes along that demands money and I’m right back in. Right now it’s the car and a computer (unless you have an HP tx1220us sitting around I could buy from you 🙂 ). It’s hard to say No, and you have more things to say No to than I have, so you’ll lose that fight more often. It’s not an easy thing. Keep at it.
Kids: I don’t know about kids your age all that much, but at camp I am often reminded, by everyone from 8 years old up to 18, that they just don’t know enough to operate on the same level of awareness that I have, or on the same rule set. You can’t expect kids to be anything but kids. And kids are not rational creatures. They don’t know how to be. You can’t let yourself forget that. It sets them up for failure, I think.
Wife: First, the obligatory “lucky bastard.”
Now then –
EVERYONE needs solo time. Some, more than others. Unfortunately, in a relationship sometimes you have to plan even the unplanned times. And you two will have less of it, because of your jobs and your kids and the We you need to nurture, too. You still need that time, for the things you like to do that the other doesn’t, like … nothing, for example. With work, kids, yourself, and each other all competing for attention, you may have to divvy it up and give up some spontaneity in when you choose to do things for spontaneity within a chosen window.
And I know you remember how good it feels to plan your work and work your plan (as Dad says) and realize that your sphincter-boy planned unplanned time is, in fact, unburdened, free and clear. It’s worth working for.
You can do it. Do not forget this.
KRO
Why does your comment form eat my carriage returns? Your wife the English teacher will kick my butt …
KRO
Hi there Kevin, I read your blog with much pain in my heart…I can feel your agony thru your words.. and right now, words don’t cut it.. however, from here in LopeyLand.. that is all I can do right now..
Firstly, it is never a bad thing to pray for yourself since when you are good to go, so is everyone around you and you have a beautiful wife and fantastic kids that make your life a fantastic experience. So, everytime you feel yourself getting ticked.. think about those of us who would give a critical body part to have their families with them!!! You are blessed and fortunate.. if all else fails.. you have your family and you are loved.. all else is replaceable…
Me time: well.. unfortunately.. welcome to the family guy… me time is tough and now you know the meaning the self-sacrificing love.. suck it up sunshine.. it will only last for a season and then it will be over.. you will wonder where the time went. I can tell you one thing.. the more you sacrifice for their sake.. it WILL be returned to you multiple times over. I can promise you that!
The debt thing.. well.. can you calculate a way to make your monthly costs and also pay a portion of the CC bill off?.. if so.. then make it happen and be disciplined.. no easy quick fix answer here.. sorry … if not, then see a financial advisor and get the CC debt rolled into the mortgage and get one payment.. then.. refer to the previous point… and start paying off the mortgage quicker…
I love both and you and your family… I wish you only the best and I look forward to November when I hope I can see you again…
LopeysCousin…