Happy Holidays, I Guess
Greetings and salutations. The thanksgiving weekend is over.
Tidbit number one: we’re having a boy.
I’ll be posting the ultrasounds pretty soon, but I’m just happy to say that.
Tidbit number two: I don’t have a job.
I had a plan and a dream to get a job before Thanksgiving. It didn’t work out that way. I’m still looking, but I hate this process.
Ultimately, I feel a lot like a failure for not having a job. I mean, we’re going to have a kid in 5 months or so, and I have no way to provide for her. I’ve only had one interview, and I despise the process that is supposed to get more of them. I don’t know if it’s common to feel that way (like a failure), but I do. Even though, as Laureen eloquently put it, “failing to do something doesn’t make you a failure. It just means you didn’t succeed.”
So I haven’t succeeded and I still don’t feel any better.
Tidbit number three: getting to sleep at night has been difficult.
I don’t know whether it’s just been a lot on my mind, or whether it’s medicine related, but I’m not sleeping particularly well.
Tidbit number four: where do you start when there’s too much to do?
What is the best advice you have for learning how to plan to get things done? What is the motivation for doing them? I mean, let’s take the entire process of clothes. You wear them, then you have to wash them and dry them. Then, they have to be folded. Then, they have to be put away. For what? You just get to repeat the process. To me, repeating the process doesn’t seem like contentment and happiness, and a lot of daily living is simply repeating processes, over and over again. And it doesn’t feel to me like it’s a winnable situation. Bills, clothes, the kitchen, the house, all of it seems to just be for its own sake rather than for something greater….
Sigh. I’m philosophizing again. Stop me before I try to prove that black is white and get killed at the next crosswalk.
Goofus. It’s not the cycle that matters. It’s too easy to think "How can I enjoy my weekend, knowing I have to go to work on Monday?" Think about what fun colors you can wear, or how this shirt reminds you of when you met Reenie, or that pizza stain that is shaped like Asia Minor. Find the life in your life.
Hey. It’s not what you do, it’s *who* you do it with!
Here’s what I do when the shit piles up around my ankles:
1) Step out of it. Screw it. Have a root beer and take the night off. No guilt.
2) Get up. Preferably not at 1201AM.
3) Get a stack of note paper.
4) On each piece of paper, write ONE thing you have to do. ONLY one. If it’s related to something else you have to do, too bad.
4a) Keep them simple. "Get a job" will blow the whole process. What steps are involved? Itemize.
5) Order them, most to least important.
6) Finish the top one. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS until you do. The rest of them dont’ matter yet.
7) Finish the next one.
8) Repeat step 7 until you feel like you’ve done something solid.
9) Have another root beer.
10) Get your ass back to work, fool!
Splitting your attention is the same thing as splitting your effort. Both keep you from being nominally efficient (and neither of us will ever be optimally efficient, so we’ll leave that ideal in the pile of shit you DIDN’T pick up). If you’re looking at everything at once, you can’t focus on anything. So, itemize, order and iterate. As my dad says, "Plan your work and work your plan, son."
Get to it. I’ll buy the root beer.
CS
Think about the humble earthworm… he eats dirt and shits dirt, and that’s his life. But every school kid knows how important earthworms are! So what a difference his "process" makes! Go EarthWorm! Eat dirt with magnificence! Crap dirt with vigor!
I really relate to laundry. It’s never completely done. There’s 5 people in our house…..It’s never completely done. The advice my mom gave me was: Don’t do it all in one day. Do 1 or 2 loads a day. Set that goal. Do that goal. Yes, there is still a hamper that is partially filled, but you accomplished that goal. Feel good. Kev, there is always something to feel crappy about. Don’t go looking for it. Look for the good stuff (playing racket ball, new baby coming, wonderful wife, good friends, roof over your head…..) The list of good stuff can go on and on. Life is stressful and having kids is stressful. I will tell you though, enjoy your children and don’t fret over the crap. They grow up so fast and if you don’t grab the opportunities, they are gone. Enjoy life.