Taking care of yourself. Sometimes a bit too well…

I mentioned a few posts down about having a vasectomy. After the surgery, Laureen pretty much ran the household while I stayed in bed with ice packs (actually bags of frozen peas) to decrease swelling and soreness.

Dr. Hassell recommended using ice only about 15 minutes per hour. I think I averaged closer to 45 minutes per hour.

What I thought was a bruise turned out to be “necrotic” (i.e. dead) tissue in the scrotal area.

In short, I managed to get frostbite. On my… uh… yeah.

Yes, you can laugh.

My eventual response

Charles and Scott,
After having prayed, thought, kicked and screamed about this, here’s my concerns and response to this:
I’ve spent the last six years doing Multisensory worship services in a variety of roles, including:
– playing in the band (bass, drum, latin percussion)
– giving the message
– creating presentations
– running presentations
– running the soundboard
– creating videos
– developing scripts for skits
I’ve attended different conferences on Multisensory Worship, including some time with the worship team at Ginghamsburg United Methodist in Tipp City, Ohio. Their pastor, Mike Slaughter, pretty much developed the idea of Multisensory Worship. I’ve also studied typography, creative arts, and most importantly, the design of information for presentations specifically in a worship setting. In short, when it comes to creative ideas being used to express the major message that a minister wants to get across, I’m an unstoppable force when unleashed.
My major criticisms of the “no changes” rule concern the ability to make logical changes that fit the flow of the music. More on that in a bit. A larger concern would be making changes to pre-specified elements during the minister’s message. When the minister has specified elements during the message, the only changes that I have made on those were to:
1. utilize the centering function of ProPresenter instead of starting from the top of the screen and using returns to space downward
2. alter main lines of text such that something like
THE IMPORTANCE OF CLARITY
is rendered as
THE IMPORTANCE
OF CLARITY
(albeit it would be centered)
3. altering font sizes to present smaller scripture fragments on screen to fill (but not overfill) the page.
4. Altering breaks (back in the MediaShout days) to put more than one verse per slide up on multi-verse passages.
5. Removing the point numbers from major points. It’s a duplication of the information in the bulletin and breaks the flow of connecting one idea to another.
This last First Wednesday was one of the rare times where I made other changes without consulting Charles, Scott, or the minister, and in that case, I felt that the change would highlight what Bob was discussing (the action words, the prepositions, etc.). I’ve written to Bob apologizing if this threw him off. I’ve also stated the things that were beyond my control and in my control for that message in a different email.
On a regular weekend, if I had any input for ideas, I have waited and asked the presenting minister if it was a good idea or not. I do not add and have not added other things to any weekend message that I’ve worked on “in a vaccuum”.
When it comes to lyrics, this weekend provides several examples of places that needed change, and I didn’t want to have to continually consult with either of you to make changes that (a) do not hinder the presentation but instead enhance it, or more closely follow the pauses in what the worship leader is doing. A great example of this was during More Love, More Power from this week.
If you look at the DVD of Saturday’s service, Scott had the lines arranged as follows
And I will worship You with
all of my heart.
But how is the song actually sung? Where’s the natural break?
And I will worship You
with all of my heart
And so with the other “And I will worship You” lines. It’s changes like that that I want to make without requesting approval. I’m not going to change fonts, backgrounds, or whatnot just because I prefer it that way. The lyrics need to convey what is being sung, and that’s what I try to do.
Another example is the bridge to Beautiful One:
The lyrics as printed and put into the slides:
Because nothing on earth
is as beautiful as you are.
The lyrics as Chris (and the rest of the world) sings them:
Because nothing on earth
is as beautiful as You
If I need to seek either of your approval to make all of those changes, I will drive all of us crazy. I know there are normally weeks where we are busy working on stuff up to the last second, but in the past, we’ve made changes to the lyrics after the Saturday service when there’s been obvious issues. But to merely sit and watch lines go by that better present the music and the message because I’ve been told not to do so relegates me from a position of trust to one of button pushing. And I can’t just be a button pusher. There are many people who can be trained to do that and do it well, but it’s a waste of the skills and training that God’s given me. The discussion also makes the “backup director” position seem fruitless, since if I can’t be trusted on the computer, how could I be trusted to keep a service running?
In closing, if you want to keep that tight of a control over all of the elements, give me a different challenge to help the church: editing and mixing video, running the soundboard, something that will allow me to use my talents and not feel stifled. Other people can run the computer. However, if you’re willing to allow for changes that create a tighter, more professional presentation, enhance the congregation’s experience, and bring God’s message to people, then I’ll feel better about working in the booth. 
I fully respect both of your positions, and I don’t want to seem like a renegade freelancer. I know Scott is charged with the overall presentation, and any messup comes back on his head. I know that Charles spends a lot of time putting lyrics and other stuff into the computer, and I don’t want to come across as wanting to completely wreck that. I just need to know that what skills I have are valued.
Charles, you described below my position as manager and not making changes without informing superiors. There’s a big difference in the type of people I manage and the situation in the booth. I give my employees the project, the goals, and some guidelines and then let them have the freedom to get the job done. If there are issues, they come to me. I don’t ask to be made aware of every change in their process because that would slow us both down. In that way, the way I manage my team reflects my trust in them.
And in a closing apology to both of you, I did make the changes described above to More Love, More Power for the 10:15 and 11:30 services. I also added a comma between More Love and More Power, since there was a comma between More Faith, More Passion, and it made sense to mirror that back to the first verse. It’s those type of changes that I want to have the freedom to make, especially after going through the rehearsal with the band. I also changed Beautiful One’s bridge for all of the services.
In short, I enjoy doing technical work and want to keep doing it. Just let me know where you want me, especially before the first weekend in March (my next scheduled weekend).
-Kevin

More on Sigh

And the saga continues:

From Charles Duncan, the director of the tech side:

Kevin,
Thanks for your work this weekend. It was the first weekend of Scott “cracking down on us,” as you phrased it. I think his email has been well taken and is a positive step toward providing better service to the church and for those attending. If fact, one volunteer pointed to an area in Scott’s email where the writer thinks even more tightening is needed. All of Scott’s suggestions or directions are made to help avoid mistakes and distractions, plus it gets us ready for more and more complex production pieces and new equipment.
The “no changes” rule is firm and must be followed to the letter. This includes changing, without approval, just one word in the lyrics because the singer happened to sing it that way one one time, changing a line from ‘green to blue’ or ‘blue to green’ or ‘verse to chorus’ and any other change without my approval or Scott’s approval.  As I stated before, all the lyrics and the designations of verse and chorus were carefully reviewed, changes made and approved by Scott for final presentation as is.
As you know, common sense tells us to change a misspelled word and to change the lyrics that we hear during the rehearsal that are different from the MP3 and confirm that the change should be made. Just let me know if you see something similar to this.
You stated that you are now a manager. I’m sure you would not allow those under you to make changes to elements with which you have responsibility without your approval or for those you supervise to make changes without your knowledge because they personally think it would be better their way.
Scott stated again yesterday that we are not to make last-minute changes or “day-of” changes. He said if you wanted to come in and review the lyrics a couple of days prior to the service, he would consider it. We want to avoid problems such as we had during the First Wednesday service this month.
Thanks very much for your future help on this.
Charles
I don’t know what to respond. It’s not a question of doing it my way. It’s a question of it making sense. This relegates me to button-pushing duties, and life is too short for that.

Sigh

So I’m here early at church, around 3 o’ clock. And we’ve been given specific instructions to “not make any additions, deletions, or changes” to any slides. Apparently, this week’s message is diverging from our normal path, but the overall feeling is… stifling. And I don’t know if I can do it this way. For me to not make changes when I think they’re for the best…no, when I KNOW from my 7 years of experience in Multisensory Worship presentation on every level that the changes are for the best…it stings. And it makes me not want to do tech anymore, to reclaim my weekends for my family. Maybe that’s what God’s trying to tell me to do. So now I just have to wait until the musicians get here to start rehearsing, then run through a bunch of pre-made, ugly slides with a faux-inspirational background and try to be professional about what I do.

It chafes, and I don’t know what to do.

A Vast Difference

Well, the vasectomy happened Friday.

I have been in a bit of pain for the past day or so, but it’s not extremely painful by any stretch.

Except for the fact that I’m awake and typing on my computer instead of sleeping. That’s one small issue…

One of the more frustrating things these days is Jacob’s not taking naps. You can’t force a child to eat or sleep, but when Jacob doesn’t nap, he gets super silly, then super tired, then silly, then tired…. He becomes really hard to deal with, but what can you do?

Money and the lack thereof

It’s somewhat sobering to try to rectify 14 years of bad habits. We’ve overextended ourselves big time on credit, and as a result, we’re trying to pay with cash (or check) for everything. Of course, this has its limitations, namely, when you realize you probably have enough money to cover the checks you just wrote, but nothing more…

Am I happy about it? No. Am I doing something about it? Yes.

In other news, I’ve been promoted to Manager at work. This doesn’t mean much in the short term, but it does give a nice bullet point on the resume and allows me access to jobs that would have previously been unavailable. Now I just have to act like a manager.

I’m pretty sure I’m fighting depression, but I’m not sure if I’m winning. I’m trying to change everything at once, and I feel like I can’t afford to make a mistake.

The Growth of Jacob

Jacob’s entering a new phase of life today: school five days a week. His teacher MWF happens to be the same teacher he had when he was in the infant room (Miss Jessica). When this was mentioned to him, he replied, “I was so tiny then, I couldn’t even spell a word.”

In a discussion on light rail trains, Jacob stated that he “wanted to ride a light rail train with 150,000 coaches.” The number got bumped up to “181,181” a bit later.

The Princess

Jessie was in a fine mood today when I left for work. I said, “give Dada kiss?”

The typical response to this is to lean her head down toward me and get kissed on the forehead, but not today. She stared at me, turned her head, and extended the back of her hand toward me…

So…tired…

I don’t know why I don’t/can’t sleep when Laureen leaves on her Mary Kay expeditions. She’s in Houston this weekend, and I’ve got the kids. It’s not that hard, but I don’t sleep well at all. I got to bed around 1 a.m., Jessie had crying jags at 2 a.m. and 5 a.m., and Jacob announced that his digestive system (at least the lower part of it) worked at 6:30 a.m.

The sad thing is this: this is brain-dead time. I can’t read, can’t focus, can’t think straight when I’m this fuzzy-headed. Laureen would probably be hyper-productive on something, doing a Bible study, etc., but me? I feel mentally worthless and useless.

However, the kids are up, and Papa is coming over to help/play/”work”. That’s a good thing.

Feeling very sleepy…

Some of you may know that I have sleep apnea. It’s a relatively mild case, but I do snore pretty badly. I did a sleep study in 2006, and now I have a CPAP machine. CPAP stands for Continuous Positive Air Pressure, and that’s what the device essentially forces on you.

People have two or three options with apnea: You can get some sort of medical procedure done to reduce snoring, you can wear a mouthpiece, or you can have a continual flow of air pushed into your nose while you sleep. This third method is the CPAP way.

It’s not particularly fun. Every night, I have to fill up the water reservoir with distilled water. This is usually done late at night after putting the kids to sleep, so it typically involves pouring water over electricity in the dark. Yes, I’ve missed the tank a few times. No, I’m not dead yet. Yes, there is a better way to do this (such as fill it up when I’m alert).

The other headache is the mask choice. Users have two main options: something that covers the nose (and other parts of the head) or something that is obsequiously described as a “nasal prong system“.

As with anything, these masks wear out over time; parts break off, the straps start to smell like cheese mold, etc. Typically, insurance will allow a user to purchase a new mask and connection tube (which delivers humidified, heated air from the reservoir to the mask and thusly to your nose) every six months.

My mask broke last week. The plastic connectors holding the forehead portion clamped down broke at their weakest point, and so I began the search for a new mask. I started by returning to the place from whence the machine (and previous mask) came: Axis Medical Supply.

Me: “I need to get a new mask for my CPAP machine.” (note: I’m standing right in front of the endcap where they keep the CPAP supplies.)
Salesguy Whom I’ve Never Seen Before: “Uh, let me get Randy. He’s specializes in (mutter mutter as he walks away)…”
Me: (waits patiently, staring at the electric wheelchairs, thinking that the employees probably have drag races with them after working hours)
Randy Whom I’ve Never Seen Before: “Hi. You’re looking for a CPAP mask?”
Me: “Yes”
RWINSB: “Do you have a prescription?”
Me: “What?”
RWINSB: “Yeah, you have to have a prescription in order to get a mask.”
Me: “I didn’t last time.”
RWINSB: “Yeah, well, that’s the way the insurance companies track how you get one every six months.”
Me: “Okay. Oh, by the way, my insurance has changed.”
RWINSB: “Oh, who are you with?”
Me: “Blue Cross Blue Shield Blueberry Pie”
RWINSB: “Oh. We’re out of their network.”
Me: (realizing that I’ve gained one bit of knowledge in the past ten minutes). “Sigh. Okay. Thanks.”

Step the Second: Getting the prescription
This was actually somewhat easy. I called my doctor’s office and left a message for my doctor to get a prescription. She did, although due to scheduling snafus I wasn’t able to pick it up until yesterday.

Step the Third: Locating a Medical Supply Company
BCBSTX doesn’t make it easy for a person to know which particular plan they have. It’s not on your ID card, it’s not on the “personalized” website, etc. So I had to call to find out where the locations are. Then, I had to locate one close by. After a false start (the Healthtronix place apparently specializes in Lymphedema and nothing else), I went to Rhema Medical Supply, a place with a rain-faded sign located at the very back of a former technology complex in Richardson.

Me: (enters store and sits down as requested by the numerous laser-printed signs. Admires Christmas decorations halfway in boxes. Waits five minutes.)
Woman Whose Name I Didn’t Get: “Can I help you?”
Me: “Yes. I need a CPAP mask.”
WWNIDG: “Just a mask?”
Me: “Yes.”
WWNIDG: “Have you had a sleep study done?”
Me: “Yes. In 2006.” (At this point, the snappy answer would have been “No, I just need the mask to huff paint.”)
WWNIDG: “How’d you find us?”
Me: (explains about insurance)
WWNIDG: “Oh, you’d be eligible for all new equipment with a new insurance plan.”
Me: “I don’t need a new machine. I just need a mask.”
WWNDIG: “Hmm. Let me ask my manager because (mutter mutter as she walks away)…”
Me: (Stares at the Coke machine and the candy vending machine obviously purchased by the store owner in a futile effort to make extra bucks off of the people who crave carbs badly enough to wander into this store and get them. Waits 3 minutes.)
Manager Whose Name I Didn’t Get: “Hi. I’m afraid I can’t give you a mask until we get a copy of your sleep study.”
Me: “What?”
MWNIDG: “Yeah, Blue Cross goes by the Medicare guidelines, and they need the study before we can give you a mask.”
Me: “I have a prescription.”
MWNIDG: “Yes. I see that. But Blue Cross goes by the Medicare guidelines, and they need the study before we can give you a mask.”
Me: (crestfalls face)
MWNIDG: “I’m sorry. That’s just the rules we have to go by.”
So, now I’m on Step Four: admitting I’m powerless in the face of a large insurance conglomerate. And trying to get my sleep study info from the Sleep Lab at Richardson Regional Hospital.

I could get a prescription for Class A Narcotics filled quicker than this is taking. I could arguably buy a handgun in less time. This. Is. Ridiculous.