Jacob is 4. Jessie is 2. Both of these ages are “chaotic”, meaning that the kids are somewhat nuts most of the time. The plan this week was for us to work on the house (finances, garage, etc.) while the kids were in summer camp.
That hasn’t happened.
The summer camp program we were planning on sending the kids to had an issue with the building’s air conditioning plant. It’s one of the older “make ice at night and blow air over it during the day” types, and it’s been a constant source of irritation even back before I was chairman at that church. It suffered irreparable damage in the week before the camp, so we didn’t get to send the kids. This isn’t a bad thing, but it means that we can’t get anything of substance done. When I’m not chasing the kids, I’m helping Laureen clean up the house for another Mary Kay thing. While those are more frequent these days, they also mean more time as the solo parent, and when both of them are at each other, I quickly lose patience. I want to be a better dad, but the constant little subterfuges, both intentional and not, quickly push me to a mental breaking point. And I wish I had more in reserve, because Laureen’s also as frustrated and tired as I am. Plus, she’s trying to get her business on track, which means time, which means finding babysitters if I’m not around, which means money, which means more time to do the business, which means….
Where’s the balance supposed to be? It’s all just a bit too much right now, and while I’m trying to be mentally stable about everything, it’s not easy.