Birth Announcement

Birth Announcement

Jacob Carl DeWayne Jones came and joined this world on a very Good Friday, 4/9/04, at 1:44 a.m. He weighed 8 lbs. 14.6 oz. and was 19.5 inches long. For the fan of the metric, that’s 4.040 kg. He is doing wonderfully. Laureen is doing well, although she’s starting to realize the value of pain medication after a 2nd degree tear. The birth was natural with no epidural, although Laureen did take some narcotic to help her rest between contractions. We’re all bonding pretty well right now, but as for me, there’s nowhere near enough words to express the love I feel for this child–the way he falls asleep in my arms when I rock him; the way he cries like a little billy goat when something isn’t to his liking; the cute little nicknames he’s already earned (“Burrito Boy”).

I’ll write more later about the experience. Oh yes, there will be pictures.

For anyone keeping track, I didn’t faint, even when I saw the real placenta.

What’s left to do

What’s left to do

1. Pay April Bills.
2. File Income taxes.
Note: I hate the tax season. I’ll like it a lot next year, when I’ve got a bouncing baby deduction, but for now, grumble grumble grumble.
3. Get Laureen packed up for hospital.
4. Get the cable modem moved to the other room.
5. Wire the TV in the other room.
6. Help Charlie with whatever he needs help with.

Oh, this is the first I’ve mentioned Charlie. He’s actually a former boss of mine who needed a place to stay for a tiny bit of time. So, he called us, and we had a spare bed. So far, all is decent. Yes, there’s a lot more to the story than I’m telling here, but I like a mystery.

7. Do laundry, repeat ad infinitum.
8. Do dishes, repeat ad infinitum.
9. Wait for the day.
10. Wait for the hour.
11. Reread the pregnancy book for the key things I need to know.
12. Make the CD for Laureen for the hospital.

Anyone have music suggestions?

13. Wonder about the meaning of it all.

Hey, the list is down significantly from the last list I made.

Vagus Vacation

Vagus Vacation

I want to talk about my brother a bit. Jim is a pretty good guy. He follows Homestar Runner; he teaches school; he works at a movie theater. He has a wife and a dog. He also has an interesting reaction to some things he finds really, really funny: he passes out. The first time it happened to him, I was telling him a joke…oh, okay, here’s the joke I told:

A man walks by a natatorium and sees a banner stating “Paraolympic Swim Meet”. He goes in, intrigued, just in time to catch the 50 meter freestyle. The first contestant appears, and it’s a person with no arms. The second contestant appears, and it’s a person with no legs. The third contestant appears, and it’s just a head without a body. They hop up to the starting platforms, the gun fires, and they dive into the water.

Immediately, the head sinks to the bottom of the pool. The other two contestants manage with some degree of difficulty to traverse the pool and return. After the race, an official notices that the head at the bottom of the pool is still showing signs of life, so the official dives in to get him. The head comes back up to the surface, finally exhales, and says, “You practice wiggling your ears for FIFTEEN YEARS, and one minute before the race someone puts a swim cap on you…”

Jim laughed at this joke and then went completely still. He then keeled over. Of course, we thought this was just a joke, part of his act. As it turns out, he passed out from laughing. Somehow, an electron fired causing a reaction in his vagus nerve, and that caused him to pass out. He’s had it happen before, and every time, it’s somewhat scary to watch. Laughing, silence, clunk.

He was at my parents’ house last night after a “grandma’s shower” for my mom put on by some of her school friends. We were there as well, and immediately after dinner, Jim wants to show me a trick. He puts a dime in the middle of his forehead, puts a shot glass in front of him on the table, and starts banging his chin into the table, presumably in an effort to dislodge the dime from his forehead. For some reason, this just seemed really, really funny to me….

The next thing I know, I’m getting up off of the floor.

I’m OK now, except for a slight headache.

A wonderful quote from an intriguing article

A great quote from an intriguing article

“Why do we insist that women repeat the same stupid mistakes men do, and then call it progress? Men do really dumb things. We see weapons of mass destruction where there are none. We over-emphasize sports. We place athletic achievement ahead of academic achievement. We spoil and pamper child athletes and then complain when they act spoiled and pampered as adults.

Do militant feminists realize just how stupid we are? No, I’m being serious. For the life of me I can’t figure out why any woman would see equality in being anything like me or any of my friends. We have no relationship skills and even less patience. We’re a walking, talking, eating, somewhat educated weapon of mass destruction. We pretty much tear apart everything good in our life out of fear that the good things are really bad things just waiting to get us.”

Read the whole article here.

Stupid things I’ve done

Stupid things I’ve done

Recently, Ted Rall wrote a book that chronicled some of the worst things that people have done. I wanted to touch on a related subject: the stupid things people (namely, me) have done.

I was in middle school in Yukon, Oklahoma. I’m not sure if it was 7th or 8th grade, because those years were all of a blur. We were in the gifted and talented class, and there was an Apple II in the room. Someone had created a simple text adventure in BASIC, and I modified some of the lines to say some inappropriate things, mostly sex-related. Sex was a big motivator for me around that time (puberty kinda gets you thinking about it), and I thought it’d be funny to mess around with this other student’s program.

I was caught, sentenced for two days detention, and had to apologize to my gifted and talented teacher. I remember breaking down on the phone trying to talk to her and realizing just what an idiot I was, messing with someone else’s stuff. The thing that kills me now is that I really didn’t have a good reason to screw up this guy’s program. He was a friend; I had no grudge against him. I just was…selfish.

I think that’s the defining factor for most of our stupidities in life. I’ve been selfish and stupid many times since then, and I still hate it in myself. I know that Ayn Rand preached about the virtue of selfishness, but there doesn’t seem to be much virtue in being stupid.

Times and updates

Updates on life

Well, a large majority of the stuff that we needed to do got done, thanks to a lot of help from our friends: Pam, Ricki, Chris, Jenny, Mikey, and Darrell.

There are a few minor things that need to be worked out: I haven’t been able to verify that the new coax cables actually work. I tried, but I can’t figure out which is which. I need to find/get another six-stick and run the coax to the satellite receiver. That means running the coax from the jack around the bookshelf (probably over and behind it, actually) and into the closet. I wasn’t able to get the wireless router stuff set up. I’m not entirely sure why. I can do a few things, like perhaps switch the cables at the external splitter.

Also, our phone line in the bedroom is toast. I’m guessing that the wires got munched by a rat, squirrel, or bee. (Yes, the bees are back).

I’m going to check the outside box before declaring the phone situation beyond hope and going to an alternative plan. It could be something simple as a loose wire at the jack, but I doubt it.

Baby Showers

Raining babies

Shower the people you love with love.
Show them the way you feel.
Things are gonna be much better you know they will.

We’ve had three separate showers (the “couples” shower, the “Laureen’s workplace” shower, and the “church family” shower), and I’m frankly amazed at all the stuff we have received. I’m very thankful for it, too. I have no clue how many onesies we received; I do know that there are a lot of them.

What’s been done so far:
Moved the desk downstairs, the computer, dresser, buffet, TV over.
Cleared out the closet and installed the container store stuff to create space for all of the onesies.

What’s needs to be done:
Clearing the remainder of the stuff in the office/room. There’s quite a bit of “stuff” and it needs sorting and putting away. The bookshelves have to be cleared, then the shelves themselves need to be taken to the garage.

I’m just tired right now, and so is Laureen. She puts a tremendous amount of effort into getting things done, and there are moments where I just want to avoid everything and go to sleep. But I can’t. There’s stuff to be done, and frankly, since Laureen does so much, I don’t have the real option to stop and do nothing.

Chains of Events

Chains of Events

Jacob approaches. At least his due date does. As such, there are so many wonderful things to do to get the house ready for him. Let’s elucidate the current chain reaction that has to occur (NOTE: I use the term “I” to denote Laureen and me in this particular instance. Strange, but necessary to avoid the setting of ups.):

1. I have to install a new hard drive in the computer.
2. I have to copy the contents of the existing hard drive to the newer, much bigger one.
3. I have to reformat the old drive to take advantage of its larger capacity that was never usable for goodness knows what reason.
4. I have to install a Wireless Router off of the cable modem.
5. I have to install a Wireless ethernet card in the computer.
6. I have to move the computer to the other room.
7. I have to move the desk downstairs.
8. I have to make room for the desk downstairs by moving the double papasan out of the house.
9. I have to pull books off of three bookshelves in the office.
10. I have to make room in the garage for the three bookshelves from the office.
11. I have to decide what to keep and what to get rid of from the bookshelves in the office.
12. I have to take the books from step 11 to half-price books.
13. I have to move the bed from the room where the desk was to the room where the computer will be.
14. I have to move the TV from the room where the desk and the bed was to the new room where the computer and bed will be.
15. I have to move the 4 door dresser from the room where the desk, bed, and TV was to the new room where the computer, TV, and bed will be.
16. I have to move the buffet unit under the TV from the room where the desk, bed, TV, and 4 door dresser was to the room where the computer, TV, bed, and 4 door dresser will be.
17. I have to move the printer from the room where the desk, bed, TV, 4 door dresser, and buffet was to the room where the computer, TV, bed, 4 door dresser, and buffet will be.
18. I have to clean out the closet in the room where the computer, TV, bed, 4 door dresser, and buffet will be.
19. I have to get a sawzall or other method to remove a built-in shoe rack in the closet in the room where the computer, TV, bed, 4 door dresser, and buffet will be.
20. I have to manipulate the buffet into the closet in the room where the computer, TV, bed, 4 door dresser, and buffet will be.
21. I have to pay an electrician or handyperson to run both cable for cable modem and satellite system to the room where the computer, TV, bed, 4 door dresser, and buffet will be (in the closet).
22. I have to install the ceiling fan from the room where the desk, TV, buffet, bed, 4 door dresser, and printer was in the room where the computer, TV, buffet, bed, 4 door dresser, and printer will be.
23. I have to hang the new Snoopy Red Baron fan in the room where the old ceiling fan was.
24. I have to paint walls in the room where the old ceiling fan was.
25. I have to set up a crib in the room where the old ceiling fan was.
26. I have to transform this room into “Jacob’s room”.
27. I have to practice breathing and relaxation exercises.
28. I have to remember to take my anti-anxiety medication.
29. I have to remember that this is going to be a good experience.
30. I have to remember that I can ask other people for help.
31. I have to remember that Laureen is in charge of a lot of these decisions, and as such I just need to be ready to do instead of worry.

Oh, all that and go to work, eat, sleep, care for Laureen, care for dog, pay bills, go to church, etc.

No problem.